And they’re not entirely positive.
I’m getting a bit Carrie Bradshaw now (minus the shoes and Cosmopolitans) but it was bound to happen.
Recently I was corresponding with someone who was quite complimentary about my writing, but had not uploaded a photo onto the dating site, and refused to email me one. He finally admitted that this was because he was already in a relationship but ‘looking for a get-out clause’. When I asked him why he didn’t just leave, to avoid unnecessary pain for his current partner, and also suggested he was selfish and too interested in home comforts, his shirty response was ‘…Have you been in many medium to ltr relationships?….There’s pain involved whichever road you take. Its easy to bang on about moral compass as those are just words. Life is many shades of grey.’. Prior to this indefensible statement he had complained that women only wanted to use him as a plaything between 9pm and 5am – but obviously hadn’t put two and two together.
I emailed him to ask whether he had considered that most women would take the attitude of ‘done it before, could do it again’, then blocked his profile. Annoying in a way because I had given him some helpful advice about feeding back on the shoddy care he had received in a local hospital – but perhaps that will make him realise some of us are kindhearted, and practice what we preach.
Another recent experience involves someone perhaps a lot less calculating. A hospital worker in Suffolk who claimed to like cycling and hiking got in touch. But when I suggested meeting up on Saturday evening, he kept asking me if I was only available ‘for a few hours’, I asked him what he meant, but got the same question. I have to conclude he would only meet up if he was guaranteed a bit of nookie later on. What a creep! I should have suggested that the only way to guarantee that would be to pay for it, but I didn’t waste my breath.
On a slightly more positive note (or maybe hopeful) i have developed a new strategy to put rejection to good use. One nice seeming guy admitted he had just met someone away from the site (in real life!) and another guy said he had had a very nice first date just last night. So I have been suggesting they keep me in mind for any of their trusted friends who may be looking. After all I have been through the initial vetting process. Oh how clinical and soul-destroying it all is.
However I do have a provisional date with a marathon runner / table tennis champion lined up. His written English may not be perfect but something has to give.
And this weekend I have painting the living room to occupy me – don’t need anyone hanging around, getting in my way for that.